Not I

After last week’s hiatus from Not Me’ing (yes, it’s a verb now), you’d think I’d be roaring to go… but it’s 1:28 a.m. and I’m sitting in my room wide awake and excited about today being a much needed, much anticipated SNOW DAY. And the Not Me’s? I’m having a bit of memory lapse thinking of the things I did not do this week. Hmmm….

I did not discover that my very important, favorite Christmas gift is very broken. I just new it was safely guarded from damage (until it fell of my bed in between photo shoots). And of course, I have not been trying to find a reasonably priced comparison to replace my lense because I am totally not addicted to the fabulous picture taking results it produces. I am also not using the broken lense by holding it pressed against the camera body as I shoot… because, again, I am not addicted to the awesome images it helps me create.

I am not wondering how I didn’t realize how much I missed sharing my bed with my precious little girl. I think hearing the combined snores of two children beside me is absolutely lovely, though I would never tell those anti-co-sleeping folk I know how much I love it.

I am not absolutely giddy about today’s snow day. I have been blessed with a great job and should want to be there all the time, right?

I have not turned on Michaels in favor of the new and improved Joanne’s Crafts. The latter has the entire line of K & Company stickers and a new line by Crayola that is “Wild”ly addictive (and conveniently matches Ya’s room decor). I did not cave and go to the store under the guise of spending a 40 percent off coupon and come out of the store with $50 worth of stickers and page bling for my terribly behind scrap books.

I do not visit random stores with Ya becuase I relish in the “He’s sooooo cute” comments that he always gets. I am not thoroughly enjoying that people think he looks like me and therefore every compliment is indirectly testifying to my own good looks (right?). And Ya’s super huge, gummy smile does not attract folk to him like bears to honey or flies to poop (eww, did I just say that? What a terrible simile).

I have not increased tummy and sit up time with Ya in anticipation of a photo shoot with the fabulous Lisa Julia because his willingness to hold these positions will produce cuter images. I am not obsessed with photographs. Not me!

I am not blaming every slower-than-anticipated milestone Ya reaches on his 3-week-early arrival or his being male. All good things take time, right? And those silly charts are just estimations…

I am not totally in awe of God’s power to protect and keep us. This past week has seen the miracle birth of little Samuel (God hears and answers prayers, doesn’t he?). This charming little man couldn’t wait to make his grand entrance in the world, so he arrived 10 weeks before he was supposed to. And as we pray about his health, he thrives!

Not Me Monday


I did not get so thoroughly engrossed in writing drafting a blog entry in my bathroom pumping station that I forgot I was pumping and leaked the liquid gold as the bottle overflowed. Really, I use that time to think about the important task at hand…

I did not have a craving for McD’s plain ice cream Sunday, Taco Bell chalupas and McD’s French fries at the same time. In 37 weeks of pregnancy I had not one weird food combination desire. But now that Ya’s here? I am a culinary mixing freak.

I did not have the following conversation over a certain Christmas present:
M: Look at that. You threw your coat in the recycling bin.
Me: Not on purpose. That’s just where it landed.
M: Wow. Next I’ll see it in the trash or ripped.
Me: (smiling) I’m better with jewelry.
M: (silence)

I did not thoroughly enjoy testing out my amazing make up artist techniques on Chi who then transformed into an Egyptian/East Indian goddess. And Chi for one two brief hours allowed me to snap pictures to my heart’s content while she danced and spun and acted her part. Oh how I miss it being Mommy and Chi play time!
I did not subject Ya to multiple tummy time positioning to test my “it’s a fluke” theory about his ability to roll over. You’d think that after the first two roll overs Mommy’d get the point that he didn’t want to lay on his tummy, right?

I am not still amazed at how well Chi has mastered the monkey bars. My own little monkey? Yep, the little gymnast is quite good at swinging, jumping, and flying like those cute zoo creatures. Maybe it’s because I spent so long working on a photodocumentary at the Oakland Zoo while I was pregnant? That’s got to be it, I’ll credit blame OZ for her talents.
I did not decide to show off my photojournalistic dedication by laying under playground equipment to shoot a picture of Chi with the beautiful sky as the background. I did not then discover that in my old age, it was a lot easier to get on the ground than it was to get off it.

Never I

A warm weather shot at the park from this weekend:

And now,


Welcome to the opposite game of therapy and confession that MckMama hosts every week! It’s free, it’s easy, it’s a release…

I did not decide that after only two hours of time sans baby, beginning the work/school/daycare week was looking pretty appealing. I love spending time with my kids and I enjoy the opportunity to dedicate my time to their pleasures. What kind of mother would relish in the brief break of daycare?

I did not get my taxes and then spend hours plotting how to pay the bills while still splurging a bit for Chi and I. Afterall, we’ve not been living the frugal life for months in order to pay down my debt. It’s amazing how a little restraint makes you so darn eager to spend frivolously!

I did not spend a half hour trying to pick out the perfect Valentine’s Day cards for my family members. I do, of course, have a wall full of card stock and a closet full of themed stamps for that very purpose. I also always have my hands free, my creativity on point, and my motivation at a super sonic high.

I did not decide that the whole Groundhog Day ritual was hogwash when the temperatures hit near 60s and we had to take off coats or risk sweating to death outside. I did not strip my kids down and hit up the park for the third time in this past week so they could play and I could photograph them without complaints.

I did not discover that Ya’s taste buds are on hyper sensitivity when I fed him what I was eating all weekend. He did not gobble down carrots, peas, noodles, and grapes like a toothy pro despite having only gums in his drooly mouth. I did not get a kick out of watching him push his bottle away in favor of the fork full of food I was eating. And of course, I was not determined to keep my food all to myself because it was good and he’d already eaten.

I did not discover that Ya has made his parental preference and savor the fact that it is Mommy he chose. It’s important for kids to have quality relationships with both parents, right?

I did not surprise myself and my family by agreeing without reservations to let Chi attend a sleepover with her friend. I’ve screened the family, I trust them with her, and Chi tells me everything. And so it’s okay to let her enter the world of girlie rituals with a Slumber Party.

I did not discover that though all things blogging, social, fun are blocked at work, I could still attach my Not Me’s to “Mr. Linky” on MckMama’s page because she has a dot net base page. I do not sometimes read the cover page of the blog that way despite the savory pictures being Xd out because photo servers are also blocked.

Not Me Monday


I did not determine that the only way to be one of the first posters on MckMama’s Mr. Linky was to spend 24-hours a day refreshing her page. I did decide it’s just not that serious, and so I am content with being in the hundreds each week. I did not then race to her page and post my name first with a blank blog entry then return to type up what I had been planning in my head… because being in the 200 range is not cool 🙁

I do not suffer from serious blog envy when I surf through the many awesome sites people have out there. I do not secretly wonder if people are reading what I say about my kids and my life. I do not spend an unusual amount of time writing and editing my posts to ensure they are “worthy” of a read. I have not decided that every post needs a photo because it just looks better.

I did not throw a snow ball that landed right in my daughter’s face. The one and only connect I make almost takes an eye out! How’s that for aim?

I did not wish and pray for a snow day today, Monday, so that I didn’t have to use more sick time to take Ya to another follow-up for the never ending cold/cough/breathing issues we have been dealing with. I swear I love when my baby is healthy.

I did not rush the kids to church on Friday to ensure that we were amongst those listed in the new directory. Laura was “in” the last one, but you can’t see her there because she was in my belly 🙂 We do not have a second photo to take with the extended family to add to the portrait wall in my parent’s house. I cannot wait to see the new picture on the wall next to those of my parents, brothers, and I from so many years ago.

I did not get unnecessarily upset at Chi because she was not cooperative at Sears Portrait Studio yesterday. We do not take a new picture every time I go to pick up the prints because the 30 minute drive is not worth it unless we add extra tasks. Of course, each new picture adds a new trip, so it’ll never end. But hey, at least one 8×10 is free each time, right?

I am not counting down the days until my Federal Tax Return money comes in so that I can register for a few classes at the Washington Institute of Photography. I am not already planning out my sitters and plotting how I can afford a few new camera accessories and flash set ups. I am not growing increasingly envious of those ubber-talented people out there already professionally working as lifestyle photographers.

I did not take a few minutes to ponder why there is always only one sock on my son’s foot. I do not think that the missing sock has just decided to begin his travel early to that pkace the other single socks go when they leave their pairs during the wash cycle.

I was not amused at the “hyperactive” side effects of Huffenpuff on my son. I did not thoroughly enjoy playing airplane with him while he laughed and smiled and showed no signs of the health issues he’s been battling lately. I did not wish I could see this side of him when he wasn’t high on inhaled albuterol because I know this is his real personality shining through.

I am not more in love with my kids everyday 🙂

And now for Project 365:

Feb 2, 2009 (again): Trade

Not Me Monday

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve taken advantage of the free therapy confession session that is Not Me Monday, but it’s fine time I unloaded a bit of myself onto the blog 🙂


This past week I did not cry from sheer frustration/helplessness/pity when Ya came down with a terrible cough stemming from an elementary school germ bug his sister carried home.

The entire household is not sick from said germ bug which has passed from hugs, kisses, and food sharing that is so common around here. I did not ban said familial affection until the germ dies, and then immediately sneak snuggles and share food with both kids because I’m the Mommy and that’s what I do.

I did not spend an entire day on the computer playing catch up with my favorite photographer’s blogs when the internet and cable came back on after a week suspension.

I did not race over to do my taxes as soon as the last W-2 arrived in the mail having decided that Uncle Sam could now pay me so I could pay everyone else. I did not do a happy dance when I saw that I got an extra deduction for Ya courtesy of the stimulus incentive that was issued when we were just 4-5 months along in our pregnancy.

I did not accidentally discover that Ya loves pasta faggioli and hamburgers when his eyes widdened and a chubby hand reached for the food/utensil and drew it towards a wide open, toothless mouth. I did not decide then that since the pediatrician okay’d vegetables, this was an appropriate segway into eating solids, too. I did not take great humor in watching him tear apart my burger and cram bits of it in his mouth then “chew” it up. He did not cry each time a serving went into my mouth instead of his.

I did not go to work only one day out of the whole week and come home exhausted from the long week’s work after complaining all day to anyone who would listen about how miserable my son was and how I desperately wanted to be at home.

I did not spend an entire Sunday watching the We channel and torturing everyone in the house with Rich Bride, Poor Bride, Platinum Weddings and some other wedding rescue show. I did not wake up at 2:30 a.m. and find that the same episode I fell asleep on was on again and playing just for me to watch the end.

I did not ask Chi to make a choice between reading and doing her hair last night – two tasks she has grown to hate. I did not take great surprise and then feel terrible when she chose her hair and not a book. I did not wonder how on earth she could ever catch up her skills if the thought of reading was so daunting/scary/frustrating to her.

I did not chuckle out loud when Chi said that in reading class they read “Dan the Flying Man again” and then proceeded to recite the entire book while flipping the air pages with her hand. I did not make a note that this would be discussed at my Double Team conference on Tuesday with the reading specialist and the first grade teacher. If she’s bored and memorizing an entire book, we’ll never catch up or get ahead. I did not also realize how appropriate the book was to the situation (picture a new take on the Gingerbread Man; which I took to be the reluctant reader flying into her imagination instead of practicing her cueing systems). Surely there are other books to try?

Never I


The true confessions not guilty admissions of a working Mama are here again!

Here are the many things I did not do:

I did not refuse to acknowledge the clock for the last 16 days doing things on demand or as I remembered them needing to be done without care for a schedule. After all, playing around with medication schedules and feedings and bedtime can ruin a carefully established routine, can’t it?

I did not so enjoy being a stay at home mom that I wished to win some prize that would allow me to do it permanently while still collecting a sustaining pay check.

I did not go to a Bridal Expo and then pout about not being a “Very Important Bride” like all the other women in the room. I did not then create a rating scale of each as I stared in awe at the “lucky ones” with the rings who must have a lot of hidden beauty. I am not so vain as to believe that I am a better catch than some of those sporting the bling.

I did not almost flub up on my Project 365 resolution project on Day Two and make up for it with one of the daily pictures of Yadon that I instinctively take each day. I did not spend 30 minutes taking pictures to get one image worthy of Project 365 inclusion. I did not accuse Marq of reneging from the project because I hadn’t seen his camera out.

I did not stalk my baby brother with a camera for the last week trying to get at least ONE shot without his hands raised in front of his face in camera shy protest. I did not get told that I should at least let him shower before pulling out the camera. I did not finally get a photo shoot at the risk of further sickening said brother because I wanted to shoot outdoors without him wearing a coat. I did not get this picture because I told him I liked what the magazine said if I framed it right in my camera…

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