She toys with a nipple between her fingers. Her eyes survey my face looking for approval. I repeat again, “no, no, no.” She cries. Large tears cascade down her cheeks. She rubs her eyes. Taps out code on the nipple, eying it, then my face with longing. She hovers close, resting her chin over her hand, turning slowly closer to latch. Her throat catches as she tries to calm herself. “Mommy, want night night? Thank you, Mom. Thank you, night night. ”
She hugs me, resting her head against me. Her hand remains on my breast, cupping it protectively.
“Want teeyee. Want Hot Dog?” she requests, temporarily distracted. But as I locate her channel, she fixes attention again on her night nights. Mouth gaping, she tries again to latch. I recover my chest, securing my shirt. Tears fall quickly. “Peez, Mommy?”
I refuse to give in.
“Mommy, baby? Night nights?”
“No, big girl. Good morning.”
“Okaaaay,” she sings. And she slides off the bed to her own room leaving me to watch DocDoc alone.
The tides were high today, waves crashed into the rocks along the shore and carried seaweed, broken tree limbs, and assorted sea creatures onto land. The sun – less intense than in days past – still carried an intense yellow glow that cast upon us. Ri insisted on taking her shoes off, toying with the sand between her toes. She gathered it in her hands and watched it fall slowly down in a glistening cascade as it caught the light. She searched for sticks, and once found, dragged them through the sands creating lines. She watched the water wash each away.
She is a bit obsessed with all things Anna (of Disney’s Frozen). Elsa? Who is that? Olaf? Well, yes, we like him, too.
So mommy found a very inexpensive Anna dress and presented it to Ri. “Hannah!” she shouted, shrugging quickly out of her clothes and insisting on putting on the gown. We added her princess kit (won at Chuck E. Cheese for a lot of tickets). She took pictures – willingly – in the studio.
Carousel rides are the best.
Especially when we sneak away to enjoy one…
Ri, however, doesn’t like the moving animals. But with Chi, she’ll try them out.