I said, you say, I hear

I said: I’m concerned about my son’s reports of abuse at school by his classmate. I ask him did he tell, he says he’s not allowed. You say: There’s always two eyes – sometimes six – watching. I hear: We don’t believe he’s telling the truth. I said: In P.E. he says he is still being tackled. The folder says he was reprimanded for wrestling. In the lunch room, he says he was pushed out of his seat. The folder says he was out of his chair. You say: He didn’t tell us. It’s great that he talks to you, but we weren’t aware. There’s no communication. I hear: We’re oblivious to the cause and only see his reaction. We don’t have time for “tattle tales.” I said: My son tells on himself. He lets me know when he’s had a bad day and been placed on warning or punished. The folder report doesn’t reflect it. You say: We don’t know what’s going on, I mean there are so many days with no signature. I hear: It doesn’t matter that we’ve only checked the “good” box, if you don’t sign, you’re an unconcerned parent. Your e-mail with explicit concerns reflected? Yeah, that’s not sufficient. I said: I know he’s hiding the homework. He’s frustrated. The envelope was lost, but I created a folder for him. You say: He never turns in homework. Since January, there’s been no communication. I hear: We didn’t have time to hold the conference you requested. We don’t appreciate your efforts to enrich your child with activities beyond our worksheets and mini books.

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