According to Ya

January. Age 4 years, 5 months give or take a day

“How dare! How dare!? How dare you take a picture of me biting my nail? Holy… mom.”

Ya:”Mom, do you know what tastes better with coffee? Alcohol.”
Mom: “Alcohol? You’ve never had alcohol.”
Y:”Well, I THINK it tastes better.”
{who told him the secret?}
***

Y:”Mom, does coffee make you have babies? I think you’re going to have more and more babies!”

{I’m starting to think I should give up coffee}
***

Y:”Every time I break her stuff, I say sorry. But now she says sorry doesn’t work…”
***

Y:”You know, God’s on my side?”
M:”Where?”
Y:”Invisible. There’s only one God. He didn’t make a copy of him.”
***

Y:”Mom, you said get away from you.”
M:”Then why are you still standing next to me.”
Y:”I’m not getting away. I’m waiting for you to fix my oat-milk.”
***

Y:”I need to have a conversation with you, Mom.”
***

Y:”Mom, do you know your arm looks like it’s pregnant?”

The comedy routine ends here, young man. That wasn’t funny.