A pondering from the throne

copyrighted sometime in 2003… while in the midst of my first year teaching journalism.


I was visiting a restroom the other day and happened to look at the stall lock. On a small silver hinge was the word “Hiny Hider.” It made me chuckle as I thought ‘who would think to have a company with the word hiny in it?’


Can you imagine that business proposal?

We’re going to sell bathroom stalls and we want a politically correct title for “gluteus-maximus.” It has to be catchy, of course, otherwise no one in the market would remember it.

As a journalist, I’m constantly reminded of trademarks and their importance. This cute “Hiny Hider” conjured up memories of my college days. Back then, I knew a kid, a boisterous, chummy guy with a large frame reminiscent of Santa Claus. He was known simply as “Beamus” – his last name. His family was wealthy – – they owned a self-named company that marketed (of all things) toilet seats and commodes.”


How fitting” I thought when he proclaimed this; here was a guy who prided himself as being a slinger of muck. You know, journalists were once considered muckrakers, and his news style was that of digging up dirt. Lo and behold, his family made and sold receptacles for human waste.


It got me thinking about these “Hiny Hiders” people. What were they like as children/young adults in college? And what will their children do? If their business is any indication of personality, will they be introverted and soft spoken? Are they old fashioned ladies who hold tea parties promptly at 4 p.m.? I know, they must be covert operatives with some shady business that must be kept out of the public view.


I wonder… I wonder…
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