Babymoon over?

It’s 12 p.m.

I’m home alone, with mom back at work and Chi in school. Yadon is laying on the bed crying (again) and I admit that I am feeling a bit like the “Ferberizing” spoken of in ‘Meet the Fockers’ was a really good idea. He’s okay if he’s in my arms, diaper freshly changed and feeding happily on a breast… but put little man down, and the lungs explode! How can I leave him in daycare all day knowing he’ll spend it screaming? I’m feeling a bit guilty listening to him cry only a few feet away from me and it’s hard to resist coming to his aide.

Last night was a battle with two insomniacs – Chi playing an inherited Game Gear (the glowing blue screen gave her away) and Yadon completely ignoring our “schedule” and refusing to be content. It was indeed a long night. Chi finally went to sleep after the game was confiscated and I gave her a big hug and kiss around 2 a.m. Yadon dozed breifly around the same time, but was up again before 4 a.m. pretending to be hungry, then helping to soak my night clothes (ah the joy of breast feeding!), and finally spitting up on me and refilling his diaper only to fall asleep in my arms without having eaten. I almost squished him this morning, waking up laying on my side, with Yadon up against my back on his side… How’d that happen?

As I type this, the room has suddenly gone quiet… after 7 minutes of straight crying, could it be that he has soothed himself? I’m tempted to run over and check on him, but I wonder if it will wake him up (if he’s sleep) or irritate him that I am so close without touching him. I so want to hold and caress him, to keep him close to me as long as possible… but I also want him to be able to cope with separation.

I desperately want to prepare a few scrapbook pages of Yadon’s first week post-womb… and though I’ve pulled a few patterned papers, I haven’t even begun to plan a single page of memories. I’m hoping that the letters I wrote for both my babies last night will make good entries in their books, and I ordered photos of the kids to accompany my journaling. Perhaps if I read a few magazines I’ll be inspired?

Lisa (of Lisa Julia Photography) calls this newborn stage the “babymoon.” It’s the time when your heart is clenched around the remarkable new life you’ve created. Your every breath is for him and you cannot imagine how you breathed before. I’m admittedly blessed beyond my worth. I have two healthy children! I am preparing to embark on a journey with Yadon into babyhood, toddlerhood, and all the precious moments between birth and five that Chi and I shared. How awesome is that?

So, I guess that despite the shaky start of this day of rainy weather and baby tears (actually, his tear ducts don’t work yet, but I know he’s shedding them on the inside), I am still sitting amidst my babymoon period… and trying to savor every minute of it.

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