Thinking About Him

Chi and I have been having a number of discussions about what this little munchkin (as Chi has named him) is going to look like. She thinks he’ll have a little hair on his skull (her words) and will be brown like her (as that is the preferred complexion, Chi assures me). She knows he’ll be a cutie (I totally agree).

When he’s first born, she has a graphic image of his entrance into the world “with blood all over him and naked.” I really have to watch the programs she sees! She claims she knows this information because “You [I] have blood inside of you [me].” How’s that for logic?

After almost two years of desiring a pregnancy for a baby of her own, she assures me she is not having children anymore. She knows how they exit mommy… and thinks the hole is too little and it hurts a lot. I’ve caught her several times inspecting herself to verify that the birthing process is a “no go” for her. Let’s hold onto that theory for a long time, Chi.

We watched an episode of Law and Order SVU where Elliot’s wife goes into labor after a car accident. She gives birth en route to the hospital in an ambulance. Chi watched that intently with wide eyes and reaffirmed the “it hurts” conclusion adding, “Oh no, I’m not having any babies!”

Now perhaps other parents would screen their five year olds from such graphic television. I teach teenagers, and the birds and bees logic doesn’t fly anymore. It makes sense to me to give Chi clinical definitions and honest answers (to a point) so she knows exactly what is going on. She seems smart enough to process the information and asks questions freely when she doesn’t understand.

Of course there are many random questions that surface as she considers how this pregnancy thing plays out. “Where does the white thing [umbilical cord] go?” “Is the baby okay?” “Where are his feet right now?” and at least once a day, “How many days before we get our baby?”

There’s also the issue of marriage. Somehow my previous excuses for why she can’t have a sibling (Mommy needs a husband… to which she replied, “How about dad?”), have returned to bite me. Whenever I mention a friend who is expecting, she asks “Is she getting married, too?” Hmmm…

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