Prom Chaperon

I volunteered as a prom chaperon thinking it might be fun… but I forgot how hard it is to find an outfit to formal events. It is especially difficult when you’re over 10 years older than the prom attendees and don’t want to appear to be trying to rekindle your youth.

A trip to David’s Bridal was frustratingly comical, as I spent a good hour pulling seemingly loose fitting gowns from the shelves. I then went to the dressing room with my finds hoping to squeeze into one successfully… Laura says the baby is too big, because I hardly got the dresses on and was certainly not able to close them! The suggestion from the sales associate? Try an empire waisted gown. No luck. She then pointed out a very pretty gown on a pregnant mannequin and said “This is the kind of dress you need.” I guess she didn’t pay attention to the fact that the prom was only days away and at 4’10” on a good day, no off the rack long gown is going to work for me. At this stage in my pregnancy, anything that will heighten the likelihood of me tripping – beyond the typical and oh-so-present clumsiness of my condition – is not a wanted addition to my life.

So I did an internet search for formal wear for expectant moms. And wouldn’t you know it, Motherhood Maternity had a brand new short dress in black silk and cream flower appliqué that looked stunning on the model. Add to it that the dress was half the price of the cheapest gown I saw at David’s, and I was sold. I rushed the shipping and added a snazzy dress suit jacket in black and a clearance shirt in vibrant red to make the added expense worth it.

Enter prom night.

I was late getting home from MomNDad’s because I was stuffing my face on a fabulous steak Mom cooked, so I gave myself less than an hour to dress and beautify. I’d probably have gotten myself together if it weren’t for the dress. After about 20 minutes of desperate attempts to close a very awkwardly placed underarm zipper, I called Mom for a rescue. Laura was dragged from the park they’d just arrived at so that Mom could help me dress. Laying down and “sucking in” my immovable, protruding stomach seemed to do the trick. Amazing how awkward this body of mine has become these days…

I had to take the traditional “off to prom” photo despite going it solo this time and being three degrees beyond prom. Mom humored me and took several photos. So what if it was my third prom to date?

Here’s the result once I squeezed into my dress…

Much to my delight, a colleague informed me that the staff at prom is given complimentary formal prom pictures, so that was my FIRST stop upon entering the building. A free pregnancy photo done professionally? You just can’t beat that!

[Now of course we know that I’ll be taking more photos in July of my third trimester girth, but this was a great document of my basket baller.]

It was fun being at prom again. The kids looked amazing. With two dance floors, there was no shortage of space for showing off the video moves. The music was great for dancing with the up beat rap and R&B choices. Few slow dances were played except “Make Love In the Club,” which wasn’t exactly the best choice for the clientèle. I found myself bouncing and snapping to the songs and moving my feet to the line dances from my wall hugging position. I might have actually joined in if I weren’t trying to hold up the appearances of being the “keeper of decency.” Then 10 o’clock came and went and I realized it was past my bed time. By 10:30 I couldn’t hang, so I jetted to the parking lot to begin my drive home.

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