contemplation

Although I’d rather be having the usual sonogram to discover the gender of my little gem, I think I’m going to elect to have the amniocentesis. Of course, I’ll still pick Dr. Heritage’s brain tomorrow about risks and probabilities, but I’m almost comfortable with the idea of this invasive test. Supposedly it’s diagnostic and will let us know whether J-D is going to be celebrating his/her birthday in September as planned.

I’ve been doing a lot of studying about the maternal serum screening tests. I know they’re just screens for potential problems. Sometimes they’re “false positive” with a perfectly healthy baby. I’ve visited several info pages about Trisomy 18 and know the truth and the likelihoods. If baby is a full T18 case, there’ll be new decisions. I’m thinking I’ll carry to term regardless of the results. I don’t have to explain anything to anyone and I’ll treasure the gift that is this pregnancy as long as I can.

Of course I know full well that the baby won’t have a long life; average expectancy is less than 2 months if birthed.

And there’s the possibility that he/she is a partial case or has some other genetic issues of concern. That might mean our family structure will change drastically as we make allowances for the additional care and attention that will require.

If God hears our prayers (Lord knows Laura’s been sending them up for a sibiling for months), we’ll get a more positive result from the amnio. Then I can celebrate again. Then his/her little kicks and tickles will be more welcomed again. Then I can happily confirm the suspicions of my students who’ve been watching my expanding waistline and changing wardrobe with whispers and raised brows. And then poor Marq can share his elation at being a father for the first time with his extended friends.

And to whomever is out there reading this, all I ask is that you too send up a little prayer for us. I don’t really care what you ask Him for… it’s in His hands anyway.

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