Love me when it hurts

“If we really want this thing to work we gotta go to war….” Avant, ‘When It Hurts

I better start asking “will you love me when it hurts,” because it’s hurting more and more. This blended family thing is an experiment in futility ; or at least it seems so sometimes. Inevitably,  no matter how much we profess to be all about “ours,” the “mine mentality ” seems to be underlying every decision.

If I thought children were unwilling pawns in relationship chess before, I’m certain of it now. Except I forgot to figure in the other pieces playing the board. The castle, or career and financial dealings . The Knights, our siblings. The bishops, in-laws and family elders. And though there’s only one king and one queen on this board, they often play on opposing sides instead of as a ruling, supporting pair.

Frankly,  I’m not sure I want to spend life in a game of strategic action. I’ve got apps for that. But honestly,  if the extended family is constantly invited in to cause strife and further divide, there’s no winning.  It’s one thing to confide in someone – to seek a listening ear that doesn’t connect to a wagging tongue. It’s another to entertain intrusion,  confusion and, ultimately isolation.

I’m ready to lay my piece down and declare game over. I can’t see putting children through an endless, destructive game.

Pull out

It’s been hard to write lately; not because I’m uninspired,  but because I worry who might hold my thoughts expressed against me.  I’ve learned I’m not liked by some – and the dislike is so intense that it’s vicious and overwhelming. I’m reminded often that impressions (however false) are made quickly and they don’t dispell. […]

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The mermaid

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Cerulean shimmers amidst shocked white spray Undulating, stirring the constant changing tides The crash of salt and sea Rocks jutting just above scream “halt!” She baths atop this surfaced throne Watching the waves churn about her Head turning heaven-ward, she is still Sunkissed skin merges with iridescent drops Whilst pearls and shells modestly adorn *inspired […]

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Land! Treasure! And a message in the bottle

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I’ve been planning this session in my head for quite some time: a pirate ship, a few swarthy crew members, a beach.  I pictured my kid-version of Captain Jack Sparrow coming to life in front of my camera lens. I ordered a boat. When it arrived in the little box, I told hubs he’d have […]

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This is childhood

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Explore. Discover. Play. RiAnne, 18 months.

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Suave, rising sophomore

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This summer begins in a mere 15 days. Fifteen! It’s hard to believe I’m wrapping up another year of teaching – – even harder to realize that my children have reached new milestones in their educational journeys. And hubs just survived a year as our “daytime caregiver,” rearranging his work schedule to ensure our very […]

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