Waiting too long

I sit on this bench,  looking across at my husband. He’s bound to a fluid IV, pumped up with insulin and morphine. He’s moody – delivering a mixture of frustration, panic and self pity in random sequences.

If he sleeps, the monitor beeps; it flashes its red APNEA warning and the oxygen levels countdown to… I don’t know.

It took forever to get a room, and yet we passed a dozen empty ones en route to his assigned quarter. In the cold little space, he lays covered in blankets, staring at the tiny television  and listening to the foreign sounds of hospital workers.

Tests were ordered, but not completed. An ultrasound for kidneys has yet to happen, but could be a determining factor to his going home. Blood pressure and heart monitors tick away the seconds.

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They fill him with medication  (the ones he should have been taking, anyway). We wait for answers and release.

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Perhaps if he’d heeded the warnings his body gave him – the lethargy, the irritability, the aches – he’d have sought help sooner. But the drop in clinic said “viral infection,” let it run its course. And the medication he was prescribed for his diabetes makes him feel awful before he feels great again (so he won’t take it). Now, it’s too late to prevent illness. We are here in the hospital… waiting.

Struggling.

The spring quarter is in full swing. I thought I’d had a bad enough time enduring the intense scrutiny of winter session… then I   caught the flu in week one of these classes and quickly discovered that there is no rest for the weary and the critiques in the courses for concentration are hard core […]

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Four down toward forever

On this occasion of our fourth anniversary we’ve much to celebrate despite obstacles and adversity our calendars share several new, significant dates each day marked in memories you can bet our girl’s birth is among the greats have you counted the times you’ve had to “cheese?” photos collected of our daily lives until each child […]

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DRAW 101: Reflections Assignment

Task 1: Reflect on what you have learned in this course (think of your greatest achievements as well as some of the learning challenges you overcame) and set goals for future learning with this fresh course experience in mind (think of what skills related to drawing composition and media you wish to continue to develop […]

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Week 9, DRAW 101

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This class has been humbling. There’s a certain amount of pride involved in working hard on a project and presenting it to the world. There’s a fear in showing work in progress and facing criticisms you’re not yet prepared to have. Invested time and passion makes one’s work something important – – and to receive […]

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The rift

I stand at the shoreline You sit, discontent in that rickety little boat It rocks, dangerously, at your shifting weight Rippling water currents draw you slowly out Swiftly, you drift further into unknown waters Receding from my vantage point There’s no goodbye, no salutations at all Just a distance increasing I wade in, willing myself […]

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