Did I tell you I love you?

He sauntered over, slumped into a chair and asked me. Without reply, he knew the effect.

“There is that smile. I love it when you smile. You and dad should smile more often. You’d be happier. ”

I’m reminded, then, of overwhelming obligations that hinder such a simple expression. But despite the pressure to catch up, to overcome,  I need to remember to live in the “now.”

He’s older, a teenager with a desire for independence and personal space. The countdown to graduation and adulthood is quick. And yet he’s here. In this moment. He has chosen to linger at the table with mom.

I sip my coffee. And we two survey the crowded cafeteria. Families with many little children create a cacophony of conversation. Dishes rattle.

“I hope we play you guys early in the season,” he says, voice rising and cracking as he builds enthusiasm about this sophomore endeavor. 

“Coach says… ” he rattles on about his pending football season. This year, we’re on junior varsity – later games and tougher expectations. He’s changed positions, too. Now he’s on the field with offense and could score with some plays.  The anticipation of the first scrimmage hovers in his thoughts, his dreams.  He’s ready.

I still have his jersey from last year, the jagged cut reminding me of the ambulance,  the neck brace,  the danger of this sport he loves.  I’m supposed to ‘upcycle’ the uniform into a cheer jersey for Ri. And she’s probably going to be his favorite cheerleader in the early minutes of his games.

He smiles and shoves a finger into the bridge of his glasses to push them into place. They slide right back, the red electrical tape showing on the side despite his efforts to color it black.

He surveys our neighboring tables discreetly,  noting no new patrons in his age bracket. And he rambles on.

One

It’s cold inside this old house Empty, save the spiders who weave They create connections in open space Keeping me company without making contact Alone, I brood over lost opportunity Many a moment slipped through unnoticed My grasp on success too loose In the darkness, candlelight dances around Welcome motion in this wicked silence I […]

[Continue reading...]

Mini Vaykay

w wmbg1

Williamsburg, we couldn’t stay away.

[Continue reading...]

Love me when it hurts

“If we really want this thing to work we gotta go to war….” Avant, ‘When It Hurts ‘ I better start asking “will you love me when it hurts,” because it’s hurting more and more. This blended family thing is an experiment in futility ; or at least it seems so sometimes. Inevitably,  no matter […]

[Continue reading...]

Pull out

It’s been hard to write lately; not because I’m uninspired,  but because I worry who might hold my thoughts expressed against me.  I’ve learned I’m not liked by some – and the dislike is so intense that it’s vicious and overwhelming. I’m reminded often that impressions (however false) are made quickly and they don’t dispell. […]

[Continue reading...]

The mermaid

IMG0291sq

Cerulean shimmers amidst shocked white spray Undulating, stirring the constant changing tides The crash of salt and sea Rocks jutting just above scream “halt!” She baths atop this surfaced throne Watching the waves churn about her Head turning heaven-ward, she is still Sunkissed skin merges with iridescent drops Whilst pearls and shells modestly adorn *inspired […]

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...[Continue reading...]
This site is protected by WP-CopyRightPro